


who’s gonna check up on you tonight?

by fernfuneral



Series: we’ll hang my halo on the wreck [2]
Category: Half Life, Hunt Down The Freeman (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, He’s trying his best, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, This is a heavy one, also this isn’t shippy at all or intended to be like that, if you read as ship i’ll murder you, mitch and adrian on god im gonna get you outta that house, mitch is a good brother, pls heed the tags it’s all implied but it’s. heavy., sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25578160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fernfuneral/pseuds/fernfuneral
Summary: “His job at the corner store was only enough for groceries, and he knew that Adrian probably couldn’t handle living out of a car anymore than they already did.Oh, how he hated feeling helpless.”or, the shephard brothers love each other very much.
Relationships: Mitchell Shephard & Adrian Shephard
Series: we’ll hang my halo on the wreck [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853779
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	who’s gonna check up on you tonight?

The sky was dark, even in the greying dusk, clouds hanging low and heavy with the promise of rain. Mitch could smell it on the air. Maybe an hour at most before it arrived. The soft hum of cicadas and passing cars was almost anticipatory of the oncoming storm. It hadn’t rained in weeks.

He tilted his head back, leaning onto his hands as he tried to parse through the overcast and see the stars. The hood of the car beneath him was warm, a result of the summer heat and the rumbling engine underneath it. He should turn the car off, shouldn’t waste gas, but he wanted to let Adrian sleep with the AC on. Mitch wasn’t sure when he’d be able to next. 

Mitchell was dreading the return home, once the sun rose. Dreading the look on Adrian’s face as he pulled the car into the driveway. How he shut down when he heard their parents fighting, locking himself away in their room, within himself. Mitch wished he could just take his brother and run, but he was barely seventeen. His job at the corner store was only enough for groceries, and he knew that Adrian probably couldn’t handle living out of a car anymore than they already did.

Oh, how he hated feeling helpless.

There was a reedy buzz from the neon sign outside of the bar they were parked behind. He could hear faint strains of music filter out when people came and went, laughter and conversation floating on the night air. The owner had offered to give them whatever appetizers were left over once they closed for the night, a rare bit of sympathy that was far and few between for the two brothers. He was already letting them stay in the back for the night, the food was just another debt owed on top of that. Mitchell could probably offer to buss tables or work in the kitchen when the man inevitably asked for payment. Everyone always did. But having to work at a seedy bar for a night was worth it if it meant that Adrian could rest. And it was better than sleeping at the house.

He hoped the storm came soon. Adrian liked the rain. It would be nice to see his brother smile again. 

It didn’t matter how much he disliked it, Adrian deserved something nice. And the panic from the thunder was easy to hide. He didn’t need to make the other worry, it was better to let him have his fun. Adrian needed it more. Always would.

The soft click of the car door shutting interrupted his thoughts, and he abandoned staring at the sky to look at his brother. Adrian slid onto the front of the car carefully, his slight frame barely dipping the hood. His eyes were wrung by bags, which only stood out more starkly against his young face in the harsh cast of neon light from the bar sign. There was a mark on Adrian’s face from where his cheek had been pressed against the seatbelt and his hair was disheveled. Mitch wished he could whisk him away from all of this, protect him from the world for as long as possible, but he and his brother had both grown with the weight of the sky on their shoulders. Neither of them knew anything else.

“You sleep good?” Mitch’s voice was quiet, hushed in the thick of the night, and Adrian nodded in response. “Okay, that’s good.”

Adrian fixed his eyes on the skyline, and Mitch joined him. The silence between them was heavy, but not uncomfortable. There were a number of things that Mitch could say, that he could do, but he didn't feel the need to. He and Adrian didn’t need to speak.

A warm weight fell against his arm as Adrian leaned on him, shaggy hair brushing Mitchell’s cheek. He needed a haircut before school started. Mitch added it to his mental list of things to save for. He’d need to find a better place to hide money as well, their mother had been getting more desperate for cash again. The familiar burn of anger that came at the thought of her made him grit his teeth, but he shoved it down. She could ruin her own life as much as she wanted to, Mitch refused to let her do the same to Adrian.

The car rumbled beneath them, engine kicking up for a second before it dropped again like it always did when he kept the AC on. Right. Gas was another thing he needed to figure out. He’d been able to bribe some off of the girl who worked at the service station down the road from their house for most of the summer, but he knew he couldn’t keep that up. He could only go so long convincing her to fill up his tank with his sob story and makeout sessions in the employee break room before she realized that he wasn’t interested in going any further. Mitch felt a bit bad about the deception, but he needed the gas, and he knew that she only had the job so that her parents would keep paying off her car insurance. He and Adrian needed her money more than she did.

A clammy hand wrapped around Mitch’s wrist, gripping it just a little too tightly to be comfortable but he didn’t mind. Sometimes Adrian needed extra reassurance that he was there. Especially after everything. The ever-present rumble of guilt in Mitchell’s gut made itself known, and he smothered a grimace as Adrian’s grip pulled the skin around his wrist. He turned his palm upwards, letting his brother press his fingers to Mitch’s pulse, careful around the bandages that had been loosely wrapped there. One second, another. He could hear Adrian count the beats under his breath. Finally, the other released Mitchell’s arm, and he brought it up to wrap around Adrian’s shoulders, ruffling his hair before moving his hand down to rest against the pulse point on his brother’s neck. A short count and the ritual was complete. They were there, they were alive, they were together. That was what mattered.

“The owner is gonna bring out food for us, but it won’t be ‘til late. You alright with that, squirt?” Mitchell looked across the street to the clock over the church. Barely past midnight. The bar didn’t close until two on a slow night, and the owner usually kept it open later if it was busy. Which, considering it was a Friday in the middle of August, definitely applied to tonight. Maybe he could get Adrian to go back to bed until it closed. He did always sleep better while it rained. 

“Yeah, that’s okay…” His brother trailed off, eyes still looking at the sky. “Mitch, do you think ‘s gonna rain?”

Mitch smiled, squeezing Adrian’s shoulder. The prospect of a storm always brought up his brother’s mood, and no matter how much Mitch was dreading it, he was glad that Adrian was happy. “Probably. Gonna sit out in it and get all soaked again? I’m not letting you in my car if you do. Gotta keep the leather clean.”

Adrian let out a small laugh, shoving Mitch with his shoulder. They both knew the seats weren’t leather, and even if they had been they were nowhere near clean. Even then, Mitch knew he’d never begrudge Adrian the chance to sit in the rain if it was what he wanted. He’d already gone through so much, giving him that was the least Mitch could do.

They settled, Adrian leaning once more against his brother’s side, and the comfortable silence from earlier returned. A group stumbled out of the bar at their backs, peals of drunken laughter echoing out around them. Mitch felt Adrian glance over his shoulder, body stiffening at the presence of other people, no matter how far away. A bottle clattered, and he flinched. Shit. 

Mitchell pressed his leg against Adrian’s, trying to ground him. His brother fumbled for a second, fingers grasping before he wrapped his hand in Mitchell’s shirt and curled in towards his chest, shoulders shaking. Mitchell’s stomach dropped, a nauseating mix of guilt and sadness rising in his throat. He was so young. Too young to be going through this. Adrian wasn’t even in 7th grade yet, he shouldn’t be sleeping in a shitty old car because his house was too much of a mess to live in for too long.

One day. One day Adrian was going to leave it all behind. Mitchell would get him out of that house, get him to a place he could thrive. Even if it killed him. Even if that meant he left Mitchell behind.

The shaking gradually died down, and Adrian curls even closer to Mitch, breath warm against his chest even despite the summer air. Mitch would have thought him asleep had it not been the slight tightening of Adrian’s fingers around the fabric of Mitch’s shirt when he moved. 

A rumble of thunder broke on the horizon, heralding the oncoming storm, and Mitch schooled his reaction, forcing himself to give no indication that it made him nervous. The sound reminded him all too much of the voice of his father. It was dumb, childish. He should be over it by now. But no matter how many times he tried to force himself to let go of that fear, it stayed. It seemed that was par for course with a lot of things in Mitchell’s life lately.

Finally, Adrian broke the silence between them, voice quiet. The type of quiet that came when one had been thinking about what they were going to say for days, weeks. 

“Mitch…” He paused, eyes fixed on the storm clouds in the distance. Mitchell knew that Adrian was turning over his words in his head, trying to figure out what to say. He’d always been like that, tentative, deliberate. It got worse when he started to realize that their parents didn’t make it a habit to listen to what he had to say.

“You aren’t gonna try to leave again, are you?”

Mitchell had been avoiding thinking about that. The bandages under his jacket sleeve were heavy, a reminder of how he failed his brother. It had been a stupid decision to try, brought on by a bad night. He’d been doing so good at pretending he was fine that he almost tricked himself into believing it.

Adrian was the one who found him. Mitch would never forgive himself for making his brother cry like that. It’d just been a lapse in judgement. That’s all. He was fine now. He was never going to try anything like that again. Not while Adrian was still around, not while he could still hurt him.

Their parents didn’t know. He and Adrian had dressed his wounds together, Mitch showing his brother how to properly wrap the bandages. Their mother had been passed out in the living room, their father probably out fucking some desperate housewife who met him in a bar. Mitch didn’t think they would care if they had found out. His father might’ve rejoiced when he found out that his disappointment of a son had taken the final step that he could never do himself. 

Mitch wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

He sighed, turning his face to rest his cheek on top of Adrian’s head, joining him in watching the clouds. It wouldn’t be long now until the clouds broke.

“I’m- I’m not gonna try to leave again.” He squeezed Adrian’s hand where it had tangled with his, grounding himself. “It was a stupid mistake. I’m not gonna try it again. You’ll always have me here, alright?”

Adrian nodded, breath shuddering, jostling Mitch’s chin as he did. “And you’re happy now? With- with me? I’m not making you sad?”

Mitch swore under his breath, closing his eyes for a second. He didn’t know that Adrian felt like he was making Mitch unhappy. Fuck.

“I’m… better.” He paused. “But you help. You always have. You could never make me sad. I’m sorry that you felt like you did.”

His brother turned, pressing his face into Mitch’s neck. His cheeks were wet, and Mitch wanted to kick his own ass for making Adrian cry. 

He’d do anything to keep his brother safe. To make sure he never had to worry about when they were eating next or if their dad would lay a hand on him. Mitchell wouldn’t let anything happen to him. This was the only thing he was good for, and he’d be damned if he failed.

So what if he couldn’t forgive himself, if Adrian ended up hating him. He’d do what he had to so that they could survive.

“Love you, Mitch.” His voice was muffled, but Mitch understood. He brushed his hand through Adrian’s hair, letting it fall to rest on the nape of his neck.

“Love you too, Adrian.”

Thunder crashed in the sky again, a cold breeze surrounding the brothers. The car shuddered once more beneath them, hot against their backs, and the wind ruffled their hair.

Slowly, it began to rain.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was supposed to be lighthearted brother moments uh. haha. ha.
> 
> whoops. title is from “kate’s not here” by girl in red.
> 
> anyways check me out on tumblr @dxisychains (main), @fxrzen (hl/vrai), or @adamshephard (hdtf)


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